The U.S. presidential election is still dragging on, as votes continue to be counted and key states remain too close to call. Of course, this hasn’t stopped President Donald Trump from calling them anyway, prematurely declaring victory in several states despite having nothing to back him up.
“Oh, you’re declaring victory in Pennsylvania?” said Late Night host Seth Meyers on Thursday. “Okay, well I’m declaring myself King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, and my first official act is not sending that dragon to fight the Night King.”
As Meyers pointed out, saying something does not make it so — nor does tweeting it, or angrily yelling it into a microphone.
“Ideally we’d just ignore you,” said Meyers, lamenting that Trump’s position as president makes this both impossible and dangerous. “When someone gets on the subway and declares themself King of the F-Train and demands tribute you don’t stand up and start arguing with them, saying, ‘Actually according to MTA bylaws none of the trains have monarchs.’ You just turn up the volume on your AirPods.”
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Meyers also took note of the mixed messaging from Trump and his campaign regarding whether they want all the votes counted, which has caused farcical discord among Republican voters.
“His team is trying a new strategy: Keep counting Trump votes but stop counting Biden votes,” quipped Meyers.
“In Michigan, where Trump started out ahead, they called on poll workers to stop counting votes. But in Arizona, where Trump is behind, they called for the opposite.”
Meyers then played footage of Republican crowds in different states chanting “stop the count” and “count the votes,” scenes that by all rights should be satire.
“Personally, I think the best chance we have for distracting these Trump supporters and keeping them away from poll workers is to just sic ’em on each other and let them shout back and fourth,” said Meyers.
